llhozer's place for obsesive rambalings

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 02:38:34 GMT

IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes people, max gorman is back (but not in black thank god!), and have an okay summer. guess what most of it has been. yep. one of the four letter words that isn't a swear word (yet should be)...G-O-L-F golf! other then that, ummmmmmmmmmmm, yeah....nice weather we're having (i hate my life)
oh well, just letting you guys know im alive
max

p.s: for those who haven't heard, my hair is now a navy blueish color
yeah

OMG!

Thu, 18 May 2006 01:19:12 GMT

O
M
G
even I can't beleive that im updating!!!
ok then, its offical. i am cutting my hair to the longest possible lenght for it to recive dye........
that's right, dye!
im dying my hair navy blue, like my dad did!
YAY!!!
P.S: even though im a hard rocker, the Arctic Monkeys are REALLY good!

Wed, 10 May 2006 02:26:56 GMT

IM BACK!!!!!!!
i missed state by two friggin strokes
TWO STROKES!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
oh well
:-P

What aboot the Nuguns?

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 00:18:52 GMT

Nuguns

[Verse 1]

And the lil boy stared to the eyes of the night
But he collects price of his dime
Lil girl glared sheets of denial
Bullet connects to the price of her crime

[Chorus]

What have we said?
Wasnt it their plan?
Word of presence
Havent we payed penance
For the nuguns

[Verse 2]
Now the little boys sees thru the eyes of the the lie
Never direct note of his rhyme
Little girl glares cheats of the night
Lovers connect at the price of his dime

[Chorus (2x)]
What have we said?
Wasnt it the plan?
What of presence
Havent we payed penance
To the Nuguns to the Nuguns
to you

Yes, i am crazy.
just a whee bit
:-P

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 02:29:47 GMT

this is funny.

After the long months of cold and winter, we will soon be coming up to
summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory
on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of
cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of
danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:

Routine...

1) The woman buys the food.

2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who
is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the
situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine.....

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing
some women....

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 02:22:41 GMT

ok.......maybe i didn't win. i came close

ok, maybe i was tied for 13th....i shot ok

ok, maybe i saw a 81 (which is crap)

ok, now im going to cry

:-(

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 03:11:12 GMT

gosh, gasp, excitment!
Maximus Desimus Meridimus is back! HOORAY!
well, i've got good news/bad news, depending how you look at it.
i cut my hair...........poo
oh well.
Hey, the Hood River High School Invite at Indian Creek is tomorrow, and i'm gonna WIN baby!!!!! YEAH!!!!!
sigh. im tired
:-P

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 00:59:44 GMT

stolen from emma/devin/others that i don't know of

max will have to write:

I will stop trying to avenge the death of Abraham Lincoln

'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 00:22:50 GMT

stolen from emma

Your Deadly Sins

Wrath: 100%

Sloth: 40%

Envy: 20%

Greed: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 26%

You will die, after conquering the world as an evil dictator.

How Sinful Are You?

actually, that's unfortuently as accurate as this surevy can get (although most of you won't agree).

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 04:13:39 GMT

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results

Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Liveliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Social Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Abstractness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Introversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Independence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Tension	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%

Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 03:21:12 GMT

Name: max (maxwell)
Birthday: july 10th
Birthplace: hood river, oregon
Eye Color: gray
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5' 9.75" (HAPPY?!?!?!?!)
Your Heritage: half canadian, third scotish, sixth irish
Your Weakness: fanta strawberry sodas
Your Fears: needles and sharks
Your Perfect Pizza: canadian bacon
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: go to state in golf and S&D
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: anywayz
Thoughts First Waking Up: why am i on the floor....again
Pepsi or Coke: pepsi, but both are yuck
MacDonalds or Burger King: wendys...wait....damn!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: ice + tea does not equal tea!
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: tea
Do you Swear: ooooooh yeah
Do you Sing: atampt and fail miserably
Do you Shower Daily: dur
Do you want to go to College: yep
Do you want to get Married: sure
Do you belive in yourself: sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope!
Do you play an Instrument: DRUMS BABY! LOUD AND PROUD!!!!
In the past month have you been on Stage: yep
Ever been called a Tease: yep
Ever been Beaten up: yep!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: golfer
What country would you most like to Visit: belgium
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: don't care
Favourite Hair Color: don't care
Short or Long Hair: don't care
Height: don't care
Best Clothing Style: don't care
Number of Drugs I have taken: illegal, none. legal, waaaaaaay to many
Number of CDs I own: boot 5. dont use them though
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: sorry, bad memeroy again

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 04:36:39 GMT

the icon is the update
i am SOOOOOOOOOOOO bored!

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 02:20:25 GMT

whats with me and stage furniture. i mean, come on. first its the box, now its the couch. sigh. for those who don't know aboot my gangfight with the stage-b couch (aka: couch from HELL!), here is a breif overview:

there i was. on stage in a black-out. not a good idea. anywayz, there i was, crawling on the floor, looking for my hat, when suddenly.....i found it. as i stood up, there it was.....the stage-b couch, flanked by its henchmen, Ryan and Emma. i tried to duck the couch (which i didn't see and had no clue aboot) when WHAM! i hit me. the dirty piece of b-grade black swade. anywayz, there i was, on the ground, seein stars and quiet dizzy (UNDERSTATEMENT!) when i was like "crap, im hit....wait, crap, i have to get off.....crap!" so, there i was, crawling off stage........and, thats it. yep, i suck at story telling. oh well. my "battle scar" is way, way better now. thanks to everyone in the cast of Much Ado for helping me on and off stage. Thanks

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 23:39:41 GMT

wow. im TIRED! i went from opening night (5-10!) to the lock-in (10-5!) to home/sleep (5-8) to portland (9-3), and im going to the play agian (5-?).
im pooped

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 04:08:50 GMT

http://hrvhsmuchado.shutterfly.com
need i say more
say i do
http://hrvhsmuchado.shutterfly.com
there
:-P

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 00:57:37 GMT

yaaaaaaaaaaawn.
i just got back from a 3 day golf turney and im TIRED!! it was, what, 15 friggin degrees for 7 hours a day. it STILL can't feel my fingers. oh well, its ok. i did desicntly (excuss spelling...DAMN).
:-P

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 01:53:26 GMT

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

reply to let me know if you agree with all of it or part of it or none of it. if none of it, let me know what you think i would be.....i don't know why, i just want to know

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 02:42:18 GMT

(stolen for devin)

go to the following site

http://kevan.org/johari?name=llhozer

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 02:40:39 GMT

well, silverton went well. it was exactly on time. heck, the second round was posted 10 minutes early! its was amazing....um like the three HOUR late westview high school.
*shivers with disgust*
anywayz. do you guys remeber when i said that if i got golf, or something like it, as an impromtu topic that i could die happy? well, someone come a shoot me.
Topic 1: golf is a good walk spoiled ~ Mark Twain.
YAY!
i basically talked for 5 minutes about how WONDERFUL (yes...WONDERFUL!) golf is. the best thing. after the round (i was the last speaker) the judge asked me "what kind of sticks do you play". for you non-golfers out their, when someone refers to golf clubs as "sticks" you know that he or she is a golfer.
yeah. and i had just defended golf. no wonder i came in 3rd out of 8!
reply after the tone
beep.

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 03:36:14 GMT

You scored as Loner.

</td>

Loner

56%

Drama nerd

44%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

31%

Goth

25%

Ghetto gangsta

25%

Punk/Rebel

25%

Geek

19%

Stoner

19%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

wow......this sucks

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 04:42:56 GMT

stolen from emma

<td align="center"> llhozer --
[noun]:

A human transformer (Robot in disguise)

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

i don't get it

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 03:46:01 GMT

I JUST GOT IN A WRECK.

......im ok though. all i have now is ten broken fingers
reply after the tone
beeeeeeeeep

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 21:04:34 GMT

Ok, more about golf. if anyone gets any of these jokes, and they don't regualrly play golf, i'll be quite impressed/shocked.

The REAL rules and meaning of golf:

1.. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

2.. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

3.. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is
actually the beginning of the next group of three.

4.. When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

5.. Any change works for a maximum of three holes and a minimum of not at all.

6.. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play
worse.

7.. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind
during your swing.

8.. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit
one more club or two more balls.

9.. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the
foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options:
a) you can immediately shank a lay-up, or
b) you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

10.. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.

11.. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination
of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.

12.. If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

13.. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

14.. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

15.. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.

16.. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

17.. It's not a gimme if you're still away.

18.. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

19.. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just
the way you meant to play it.

20.. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch
90% of the time.

21.. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

22.. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try
to lay up just short of a water hazard.

23.. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed
of his back-swing by his handicap.
Example: back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600mph.

24.. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at
the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

25.. Hazards attract; fairways repel.

26.. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but
no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.

27.. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

28.. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your
ball is in the bunker.

29.. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

30.. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. (This rule pertains especially to Golfhappy)!

Why Golf is Cool

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 20:55:33 GMT

Yes, it is not against the law to say the words "golf" and "cool" in the same sentence.
Here are some reasons why golf is cool, and why i'm proud to be called a golfer:

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming
majority of players being honorable people who don't
need referees.

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every
week.

Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf
course.

Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other
people.

Professional golfers are compensated in direct
proportion to how well they play.

Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter
flight when they travel between tournaments.

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new
contracts, because of another player's deal.

Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers
pay for the courses on which they play.

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover
for them or back them up

The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year
than the National Football League does in two.

You can watch the best golfers in the world up close,
at any tournament, including the majors, all day,
every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in the
nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around
$300 or more.

You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf
course, watch the best in the world and not spend a
small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of
the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. I
brought a Coke into Oriole Park at Camden Yards last
year, and an usher came to my seat and told me I had
to dispose of it, or I would not be allowed to stay in
the stadium.

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9
million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average)
o.

Golf doesn't change its rules to attract Fans.

Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area
each week.

Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being
interviewed.

Golf doesn't have free agency.

In their prime, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer and other
stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy
to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts
that read "Leave Me Alone."

You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during
a tournament.

At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded
sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady
stream of four letter words and nasty name calling
while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.

Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as
Barry Bonds can hit a baseball.

Golf Courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

This is a slice of golf history I thought you might
enjoy. I never knew Why there were 18 holes before
this. Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes,
and not 20, or 10 or an even dozen? How many of you
golfers know the answer to this one?

During a discussion among the club's membership board
at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members pointed out
that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a bottle
of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of
Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was
finished when the Scotch ran out.

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 03:00:19 GMT

ok guys sorry its been awhile. play practice and all. arg.
well, i got all a's...........and a friggin B in CHEMISTRY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
thats not supossed to happen goddamit!!!
AHAAHAHAH
sorry

dreams are like cupcakes. you enjoy it, but then you forget about it in about an hour